Chapter 50: I Am but a Speck of Dust, Yet My Heart Soars to the Sky

"Though many are unwilling to accept it, the gap is too great." The Xia Emperor shook his head. "The Heartless Gate has a Dao Ancestor puppet on their side, while our side's Shennong's medicine, which could turn the tide... now we just wait for the Dao Ancestor's final order."

Ji Ning nodded slightly.

He understood.

"The fault is mine," Ji Ning said calmly.

"You can't be blamed for this. You couldn't have known Yu Wei was a member of the Heartless Gate. Don't overthink it. I've been keeping many people away from your door—this was the Dao Ancestor's personal order. He still thinks highly of you." The Xia Emperor looked at Ji Ning.

"Mm." Ji Ning nodded.

The Xia Emperor remembered something and quickly said, "By the way, you probably can't channel your magic power now. I'll give you ten drops of the antidote."

"Give me a hundred drops," Ji Ning said.

"A hundred drops?" The Xia Emperor was startled, looking at Ji Ning in surprise. "You..."

Ji Ning didn't explain further. What use was it to say he was a Pure Yang True Immortal? The strength of the Xingtian god he commanded was still the same, and it wouldn't help the battle. Better not to give them false hope.

"Alright, here you are." The Xia Emperor produced a small jade bottle and a large gourd. Streams of light flew from the gourd into the jade bottle, a full hundred drops, then handed it to Ji Ning.

Ji Ning took it and walked out.

……

"Isn't that General Ji Ning?"

"It's the Northern Rivers Immortal, Ji Ning!"

"I heard his Dao-companion was a spy for the Heartless Gate!"

"Yes, I heard that too. We could have won this time, but this Ji Ning trusted his Dao-companion too much, giving her the chance to destroy Shennong's medicine. Now all hope of victory is lost. After so long a war, so many dead, everything wasted. That Northern Rivers Immortal was far too careless, too trusting of his Dao-companion."

"Fellow Daoist Wangxiu, you go too far! A Dao-companion is the most important partner on the path of cultivation, supporting each other. How many would suspect their own Dao-companion? If there were suspicion, they could never become Dao-companions."

"The Northern Rivers Immortal is truly pitiable, betrayed by his Dao-companion."

"Indeed, he deserves sympathy."

Walking through the Eight Dragons Cloud City, past the various barracks, the immortals inside saw Ji Ning and began discussing. The story had spread and changed somewhat, but the millions of loose immortals and gods still talked about it, for it had altered the entire war situation of this territory.

"I heard that after Yu Wei used the Northern Rivers Immortal's trust to destroy Shennong's medicine, the Northern Rivers Immortal flew into a rage, was utterly disappointed, and then personally killed Yu Wei, scattering her soul."

"Yes, I heard that too—the Northern Rivers Immortal personally slew that spy."

"That spy deserved to die."

Walking on.

Ji Ning's ears twitched, and there was a trace of sorrow in his eyes. He knew that stories changed in the telling. His senior apprentice-sister hadn't been killed by him; she had chosen to scatter her soul to prevent the Heartless Gate from using her to restrain him. But now she was suffering in the Endless Hell. Although the Godking was primarily responsible, he himself had pushed her into that abyss.

After walking for a long time...

Ji Ning reached the city wall of the Eight Dragons Cloud City. He sat alone on the edge, silently gazing at the desolate wilderness outside the wall, and at the distant, floating black city—the Heartless City.

The Heartless City and the Eight Dragons Cloud City still faced each other from afar. This war was clearly not yet truly over.

……

"Ji Ning?" As the True Immortal Dong Yan walked out of the great hall, he saw the figure sitting on the city wall. He could feel that Ji Ning was now like a withered tree, devoid of the boundless vitality he once had. In the past, Ji Ning always wore a smile, his eyes bright, but now he was like the eternal snow on a high mountain, radiating endless cold.

"This Ji Ning is a man of deep emotion, most devoted to love." Another person walked over—the True Immortal Yun Chen, who sighed, "The word 'love' wounds the deepest."

"Mm." Dong Yan nodded. "Betrayed by the Dao-companion he loved most... that blow... ah, but none of us can help him. By the way, Fellow Daoist Yun Chen, does our Crimson Bright Territory still have any hope of victory?"

Yun Chen had followed the Human Sovereign Shennong and should know some news.

Yun Chen shook his head. "Hope is slim. At this stage of the war, unless we summon renowned Heavenly Gods or True Immortals from the Three Realms, but those are needed to maintain order elsewhere or deal with major threats. Moving them here would affect the overall layout of the Three Realms. After all, the Crimson Bright Territory is considered one of the weaker territories."

"It is weaker, but we've fought for years, with countless casualties." Dong Yan was unwilling to accept it.

These Heavenly Gods and True Immortals of the Crimson Bright Territory naturally had feelings for their homeland.

None wanted their homeland to be taken by the Heartless Gate.

"Wait. The Dao Ancestor has already contacted the Human Sovereign," Yun Chen said. "Let's see if the Human Sovereign has any solution. But I think, if he did, he would have sent word by now."

Dong Yan nodded.

"What a pity. If only Shennong's medicine hadn't been destroyed, if only Ji Ning hadn't given it to Yu Wei," Yun Chen sighed.

"Alas, Ji Ning trusted his Dao-companion too much," Dong Yan shook his head.

……

At this point in the war, almost all the Heavenly Gods and True Immortals of the Great Xia side had lost hope. Initially, many were furious, even wanting to curse Ji Ning, but gradually they calmed down and stopped shifting the blame. They knew that Ji Ning certainly hadn't wanted this to happen.

"Where's Ji Ning?"

"Still on the city wall."

"It's been days. I saw him sitting there without moving, I don't know what he's looking at."

Some Heavenly Gods and True Immortals chatted.

"News from the Human Sovereign has come—there's no other way. Shennong's medicine is too hard to refine. Even the Human Sovereign only sent some antidote to restore the other immortals."

"The Human Sovereign has given up?"

"He's given up..."

"My elder brother died in battle. Did he die for nothing?"

"The Xingtian god of my Tianqu lineage was shattered. Of the twelve Celestial Immortals in my lineage, only I was lucky enough to escape. I had hoped that after a great victory, I could let my sect recover. But now..."

Grief, heartache.

To them, the Crimson Bright Territory was their home, their foundation, a place where countless generations of ancestors had poured their hearts. They were willing to fight to the death for this home, even if it meant losing brothers, masters, disciples—as long as they could win, it would be worth it. But they couldn't win. They were going to lose.

……

Ji Ning sat alone on the city wall.

"Ji Ning." The red-haired Red Snow Heavenly God came and gently patted Ji Ning's shoulder. "Cheer up. Love is just one hurdle on the path of cultivation."

"I understand," Ji Ning nodded.

"Get through it, and the sky will be vast and clear." Red Snow looked at Ji Ning, hope in his eyes.

"Let me think alone for a while," Ji Ning said.

"Alright."

Red Snow didn't insist. He knew Ji Ning's character well, which was why he liked and supported him so much, believing Ji Ning was the most suitable master of the Picking Stars Mansion. After all, a man of deep loyalty and love earned the trust of his companions. Who would want to open their heart to a selfish person like the Evergreen Sword Immortal?

But such a person could also be deeply wounded.

Even some great powers in the Three Realms had been hurt, and the scars in their hearts could not be healed even after endless ages.

Red Snow Heavenly God left.

"Get through it?" Ji Ning murmured to himself. "How do I get through it?"

Watching Yu Wei die had already plunged Ji Ning into despair.

But discovering she wasn't dead, only to face a choice and personally send her into the Endless Hell—that hurt Ji Ning even more.

Though his body was in the mortal world, his heart had already entered hell.

Guilt.

Heartache.

Ji Ning wanted to suppress it, to move past it. But how could he suppress it?

"I thought I was favored by heaven, gifted with talent, full of confidence. But I was wrong. Wrong. My senior apprentice-sister suffers in the Endless Hell, and I can do nothing—absolutely nothing." Ji Ning looked at the wilderness ravaged by the war of immortals and demons. "Like that wilderness, like the countless weeds on it, before the battle of immortals and demons, they can only be trampled and destroyed. Because they have no power to resist."

"Weak."

"I am still weak."

"Gifted? No matter how gifted, it will only be in the distant future, perhaps, that I might match the Godking. Now, I am still weak. Before the Godking, I can only accept everything that happens, with no way to resist or obstruct."

That feeling of despair, once truly experienced, penetrated to the bone, to the soul.

The Godking made Ji Ning choose.

And Ji Ning could only choose!

The Godking wanted to send Yu Wei into the Endless Hell, and Ji Ning could only watch!

The only thing he could do was kneel and beg, hoping to sway the other—but it was useless.

Powerless!

Everything was in the other's hands. He could only accept it.

……

Ji Ning looked at the weeds on the wilderness, feeling that he was like those weeds, constantly trampled and destroyed by the immortals and demons. All he could do was endure!

Drifting, ethereal...

Ji Ning's heart wandered, becoming empty, serene, illusory...

Countless weeds, dust, all seemed to be extensions of Ji Ning's heart. His heart stretched and expanded, even the sky became an extension. Gradually, the entire Baiji Commandery was within Ji Ning's heart, and his heart continued to extend...

The heart, boundless and vast.

The endless heavens and earth, all contained within one heart.

In the ethereal void, three thousand six hundred commanderies were enveloped by Ji Ning's heart, even the vast ocean was covered. The entire Great Xia world, protected by the world membrane, was like an oval sphere, and now that oval sphere and Ji Ning's heart had become one.

His heart even strove to extend further, into the void...

It was an intense longing.

"I am but a speck of dust, yet my heart soars to the sky," Ji Ning said softly, sitting on the city wall.